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"iF · oNlY · hE · KnEw · WhAt · He · MeAnS · fOr · Me..............."

aLe ;)

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I wonder why sometimes I feel this way?, I wonder why God put  me here on this life?!!!...Right now, i am starting to find out how life really is!!...I am starting to see a preview of how my future its going to be like!!!....Wow time went fast!!....I've learned so much things in all these past years!!....I can't believe I am still here!!!....Trying to move on like if nothing happened!!....I learned by crying, suffering, sadness, eanger,..ect....

On this last year that just passed, God make me realiize that there is nothing easy, and that i have to put all my effort if i want something!!! Althought I dont know how my future is going to be like!!....But what i just know is that is that God is walys going to be with me!!! and that no matter what I am always going to have that strenght that keeps me going on....

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Maybe it is too son to say it, and I just don't want to make that mistake again, but deep inside i am starting to feel that emotion inside of me that i used to be afraid of... It is going to be hard for both of us, but the end is going to be better....these two months you have shown me what your goal was with me...and you know what I always dreamed about finding someone like you...all those things that you do for me, all those hugs and kisses you give me have shown alot...I used to doubt about all your promises because after what happened to me for me it was too hard to trust again...and i still doubt a little bit but deep inside i am starting to feel something, something that i can explain, i feel that you are starting to becme that someone that i never thought i would ever find again....I am so proud of the way you think and are...all i am asking you is to give us time to prove ourselfs that we are really meant to be, i know we are but right now there is nothing for shure that make us feel that we are alwasy going to b together!!.....I am very thankful to God that i met you because with all your words you make me go on and you always try to keep God close to me!!...But i have to stop thinking about this like we promised to...I am going to be patient and trying hard to go on without thinking about what can happen, but I will always knwo that in our minds and thoughts we are there together, we need each other in our lifetime.....................Let see what Destiny and GOD wants for us, we have to wait to see what happen!! God will helps us and he will be with us til the end....
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Sometimes you can not find any answer to your problems, you feel out of this world and our of your mind. You think you are not worth it in this life, you feel alone in the middle of a crowd of people but deep inside of you there is a light that keeps you going on and alive and that is the only reason that you don't want to give up you want to GO ON!!..........................There is something inside of me that keeps me here in this world, it is very strong and very powerful, even though sometimes I feel that I won't be able to make it, it is hard for me to move on when I know that deep inside of me I have that cross that I am always carrying...... I can not be completely happy, I miss the way I was before. Nothing has been the same after that nightmare, I wish none of these would ever happen to me, I wish I could be in paradise where there is peace and  happiness, where nobody tells you what is wrong or bad.........Moving on I know that God is always here by my side and he is only one that knows why am I here and for some reason he wants me to be here.........But I still don't get it and I am always asking myself WHY did all these happened to me?....Why am I still suffering for that nightmare......?(maybe I never learned my lesson)..I miss my life that I used to have before all these happened to me. I used to be a happy person not as much as I am right now but at least I was not carrying this cross, and maybe all these happened to me for a reason, perhaps it is a lesson to learn how to become a better person in life, how to value all the things that I have that I never learned to really value them like the way they should be value.......It is really hard to learn this....I am always waiting for this nightmare to end and by the way I am still inside of this darkness nightmare that seems to never end.....I feel in the middle of nowhere, where nobody can't hear me and all I can see in blurry hallucinations is God.........I used to have that strength that kept me going on, but now is gone and the problem is that I never really knew what that strength really was. Well maybe I knew what was it, but now that strengthens is gone and I now have to move on without that powerful strength.....Now is my turn to prove who strong I am and this is the moment that I am going to find out how strong I really are!! Now that I am all alone I have to put all my effort and to not put myself done no more...as a matter of a fact I know that he is going to be there for me but I have to learn to not support myself in other people and to not depend on them...Even though I am starting to feel this feeling  again and that was my goal to not be afraid of Love.....He will just be one of the supports that I will need to move on and to forget about that fearful nightmare that I am still living....Depression is the worse thing ever.....Only lights will guide me to get to where I really want to be, the real END........


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Ay tantas cosas ke siempre guardare en mi mente y mi corazon, ay muchos recuerdos ke jamas se olvidaran ni borrare de mi memoria!!.....Tu ya quesaste aki en mi interior y de aki jamas te hiras y por siempre viviras en mi ser. El amor es tan BELLO ke aveces es tan dificil entender el porke todo akaba derrepente sin niguna explicacion cuando todo fue como un sueño que parecia que jamas se terminaria. Tu me dejaste cosas tan hermosas y experiencias tan inolvidables que para mi fueron como el aver vivido en un paraiso (una historia sin fin).......Eneseñansas aprendidas ke jamas dejare ir. Te QUIZE tanto que para mi fue tan dificil de aceptar ke de mi te fuiste...Gracias a Dios sali adelante y aun me pregunto COMO lo logre porke sin ti me sentia derrotada, me sentia como si alguien me ubiera enterrado un cuchiyo en el corazon, un dolor ke a nadie se lo deseaba, un dolor inconparable a emfermedades fisicas........PORKE? porke me lo hisite ami?...porke te fuiste? ya an pasado 3 meses y aun asi la respuesta no eh ayado de  tu partida....Te estube esperando estos meses pero veo ke JAMAS volveras y aqui me tienes recordando akellos momentos que vivimos juntos los dos, estoy intentando comprender porke no estas.....Pero este sentimento me ase cada ves mas daño... pero eso HOy me decidi JAMAS pensar en ti!!......Desde ahora en adelante te digo ADIOS PARA SIEMPRE....espero ke siempre tu ty tu familia esten bendecidos por Dios!! Buena suerte en tu vida y aunke se ke me odias y no kieres saber nada de mi kiero ke siempre tengas en tu corazon ke te quize y ke jamas te olvidare porke aunke ya no estes en mi vida si estas en mi mente y mi Corazon por siempre!!!.............................................
Current Music:
Ahora sin ti-Reik
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Ya a pasado mcuho tiempo desde ke paso !!
Y aun asi sigue ahi !!
Ke se podrea hacer!!
Cuando uno no puede superarlo?...
Esa pregunta ni uno mismo la puede responder!!
Yo solo en mis oraciones lo incluyo y Dios es mi unika salida!!!
Espero ke Dios lo bendiga hoy y siempre a su familia!!
Enserio ke este dolor no se lo dediko a nadie pero si me ah servido de experiecnia par superarme mas en la vida!! Y de esta experiencia tratare de superarme y seguir unida A dios!! Porke el es la salida de los problemas!!
Los kiero !!!
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Alone in this room

Tired of this life

I am trying to move ahead

It seems that this pain is never ending

so hard to breathe, so hard to move on


Going on w/out knowing what is going to happen

thinking about the past

bringing down those memories to my mind

can't forget them

wondering why they are gone


Still suffering for something that is never coming back again

I don't know where I am going

Wondering why those precious moements are all lost in the time

can't find any answer


So hard to sleep

so hard to live

how can I go on

with this wound in my heart

that seems to never heal!!!!

Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
"luz de dia" ENANITOS VERDES
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   why? why can't I get you out of my head?
 still remembering all those real moments we had
 the promises and dreams we made
 our love was like if it wasn't never going to end
 why i don't have you today by my side?
 why did you do that to me?
 if everything was going well and sweet between us
 everything was like in a dream
 a dream full of happiness and love
 but now that I woke up U ARE GONE
 and evrything it's so different now without you!!
 You have already forgat me
 I am no longer in your heart
 you broke my heart
 you hurt me so bad
 we are no longer together
 the love we had it's gone
 it's never gonna happen again!!!
 But no one can erase what we had, what we lived and what we shared together!!
 it's hard  for my heart to understand that u are gone
 but it's nice to remember that u were there by my side
 U were the only person that made feel the happy girl ever
 thank u for all those moments u gave me
 those moments that will always stay in my heart !!!
Current Mood:
nostalgic nostalgic
Current Music:
"You" -Switchfoot
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Un dia nuevo ah venido!!....Y claro ay ke afrontarlo ocn felicidad y no con los recuerdos de el pasado!!....Ke mas kisera ke el regresra pero no yo se ke no va a volver!!! y pues espero ke despues el ke lo repmlase sea mejor para mi y no me aga tanto danio!!!......Pero lo uniko ke guardo de el es lo tanto ke hiso feliz!!! Asi como fue la persona ke mas me hiso danio tmb fue la pesona ke mas me hizo feliz!!!....
Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
"Helena" My Chemical Romance
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UUyyy asia tiempo ke no escribia en mi diario!!!...uuuyyy an pasado muchas cosas desde ke escribi la ultima vez!!...Lo ke puedo decir es de ke me siento super feliz al estar al lado de mi guapo Sergio!!!...voy a ir a homecoming con el!!!.........Es un gran chavo ke vale la pena , saben algo?....lo kiero, lo eh empesaod a kerer y para mi el se esta significando mucho!!!!...Ahora cuanod me hablo por telefono hablamos de mchas cosas ke me aclararon lo ke sentia por mi!!!, No puedo creer de ke este asu lado!!! Para mi esto es como un gran sueño aunke se k para muchas personas en este momento no sea tanto porke DC esta pasanod por malos momentos y la vdd me da mucha trsiteza pero se ke va a estar bn!! :) ANIMO DC!!! ;)..............
Buneo ps eso es todo por ahora!!!
bye bye
Ale ;)
Current Mood:
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Ya hacia tiempo ke no escribia jeje...pero ps ahora me decidi porke me dieron ganas!!!...
La escuela ya empeso y ps me esta hiendo muy bien asta ahorita :)!!!!...Ya me estoy kedando a vivir con mi tia lo cual ps no es tan malo nomas es aguantarla y yap porke si no ps uno se mete en problemas jeje.
Respecto ami patito ps ya tiene novia y ps eo me pone mmuy triste :( pero aun asi no pierdo las esperanasas con el !!!....ya lo vi como dos ocasiones en la escuela pero ago ke no me vea porke no kiero ke me vea. UUUUyyyy me dijo Diana ke Sergio un chavo bien guapo me keria concer esta bien lindo aver ke pasa el lunes me lo vana a presentar.... y ademas pobre de Jerry nunca casi le eh ontestado el si me gusta pero ps no se ke me da si le contesto porke se ke no me dejarian salir ocn el es muy mujeriego y ademas no creo ke me convenga!!!...En mi primer periodo ay dos chavos ke se ke les gusto pero ps ami no mucho nomas un chavo ke se me hace medio simpatico pero no me convence ni me llena mucho el ojo!!!....
Mis clases estan Bien!! en primer periodo tengo Technology, en segundo tengo AP Pre-Cal y en tercero English 4 con mi maestra favorita Ms.Ray!! :) jeje.....
Buneo ps ai despues escribo de nuevo...
se cuidan
chao chao
Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
"No" Shakira
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